13. "Waterloo T-Shirt" from Dicteetors/HalfEmptyClothing/Zazzle

Want a t-shirt to do with Napoleon Bonaparte? Easy. No problem - the web's full of them. Want a t-shirt specifically based around a bad pun on the name of an infamous, often murderous dictator? Er...

Well actually, maybe it's as niche as it sounds. Dicteetors is a small, one-page website, featuring six designs about totalitarian menaces, happily incorporated into humourous t-shirts inspired by dodgy wordplay. So we are presented with "Chairman's Choice Mao-nnaise", "Kim Jong Illinois (Not just a place but a state of mind)" and a "Castrobot". Napoleon's probably got the best design of the lot, principally because it's based not on his name, but on Waterloo, the site of his biggest defeat: "Napoleon's Water Loo, San Dimas, California".

The fact that Napoleon's shirt has nothing to do with his name gives us a clue to the source of its inspiration, and fans of "Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure" will doubtless recognise the name San Dimas. In the movie, Bill & Ted take Napoleon Bonaparte - struggling to fit into his new 20th Century, Californian surroundings - to Waterlube, a waterpark set in San Dimas (those of you eager to recreate this scene will have to travel slightly further afield though, as the waterpark used was in the movie was actually Golfland/Sunsplash waterpark in Mesa, Arizona.)

The design itself is (like most other Napoleon t-shirts) taken from Napoleon Crossing The Alps by Jacques-Louis David, and says "Water Loo" rather than "Waterlube", which makes sense as all but the most die-hard Bill & Ted fans wouldn't get the Waterlube reference.


Either way, it's a nice idea for a shirt. According to the description on the site "Dicteetors.com is not intended to make any political statement. These designs are intended only to be funny."

The Waterloo shirt is available for $21.95, and comes in all sizes and 11 colours, though a premium of $2.85 is charged for every colour apart from white. The t-shirt itself is described as "Comfortable, casual and loose fitting, our heavyweight t-shirt will quickly become one of your favorites. Made from 6.1 oz, pre-shrunk 100% cotton, it wears well on anyone. We’ve double-needle stitched the bottom and sleeve hems for extra durability. Imported." Dicteetors makes use of a Zazzle store to sell the shirts. Click on whichever design you're interested in, and you get taken to the Dicteetors/HalfEmptyClothing shopfront ready to place your order.

Delivery is free to addresses in the US, but because of Zazzle's network of local websites, its policy on international distribution is quite vague. There are lots of disclaimers to do with import taxes, and delivery tracking, and in order to find out the price, you are encouraged to complete a "mock purchase" first.

This is a fantastic t-shirt, and the guys at Dicteetors/HalfEmptyClothing win my full endorsement when they ask "If you were one of Europe's greatest leaders, and you were stranded in San Dimas for one day, where would you go? Waterloo!" Yes, "one of Europe's greatest leaders". In fact he WAS Europe's greatest leader, but this is close enough. Vive L'Empereur!

12. "Napoleon Tee T-Shirt Print" from ediot

"Napoleon Tee T-Shirt Print" is a three-colour (tricolour?) design that builds on the univerally recognisable nature of Napoleon Bonaparte, and represents him as a mere silhouette carrying the French flag (Tricolour). Printed on a short-sleeved white t-shirt, its uncluttered layout, combined with the restrained use of powerful colours, makes it pretty striking.

Designed by ediot, it's the first Napoleon-inspired shirt I've seen that comes from Sweden. If you want to know more about ediot, I can't put it more succinctly than she does on her website: "im 26. live in sweden- originally from norway. love clothes. love making prints. love music. I have an webshop at www.ediot.etsy.com". Job done.

The shirt costs $21 from ediot's etsy store, plus $7 dollars p&p plus $5 per subsequent item ordered. An ediot logo on the shirt is optional.

11. "Napoleon Bonaparte T-Shirt" from Johnny Cotton

A very simple t-shirt here from British website johnnycotton.co.uk, which depicts Napoleon above the word "Leader". Whatever you make of the guy, he was undeniably a leader, and as a slightly lame bonus, casual observers of the shirt may assume that the wearer is also a leader. Double win. The picture used on the shirt is from a favourite of mine, "The Emperor Napoleon in His Study at the Tuileries" painted by Jacques-Louis David in 1812.


Johnny Cotton print shirts in several categories, from dogs and movies, to music and cars. This particular design is from the "Famous People" section of the catalogue, in which Napoleon finds himself in the company of such greats as Salvador Dali, Einstein and Mozart, and is described as being "widely regarded as one of history's greatest commanders". Finally: some respect for the little fella.

The shirt costs £9.99 and is available in ten different colours, with six colours to choose from for the print itself (though the site urges you to choose a print colour that is darker than the shirt colour). Shipping options vary from country to country, and are calculated just prior to payment, so it's not clear how much delivery might cost. The product itself is very reasonably priced though, so unless the shipping is insanely expensive, it looks like being a good deal.

Shirt description: "Heavy weight T-Shirt, 180 gsm (Ladies 150gsm with shaped side seams), Tubular Construction, Twin needle and Cover Stitch fabric with Taped Back Neck, Collar wih Elasthane, Superior quality print that will not fade, crack or peel, Fully machine washable".